The president of Profesionales por la Ética and Women of the World talks to Actuall about her life experience as a mother of 10 children, hours before the 8M feminist strike that she rejects because of the confrontation and frustration it generates, and that she does not want to accept.
Leonor Tamayo is a mother of 10 children, president of Profesionales por la Ética and Women of the World. She has also had time to write a book that has just been published, My story and eleven moreThe book, published by the Áltera publishing house, in which, from her life experience, she advocates for female identity, marriage and motherhood.
And in the midst of all his daily hustle and bustle, he has had time to give an interview to Actuall, just before the women's strike on 8 MarchShe will not do it because she does not want to give up her children, as they take care of her with their hugs, their kisses and their "good morning".
10 children, husband? how does a mother organize her schedule to run a house and a family like this?
It's exactly the same as in any other family but with more of everything. It's exactly the same. The schedule is the same, the shopping, the food, the homework? everything is the same but much more quantity. And you have to dedicate more time to it, but nothing more.
Do you have any outside help or is it just you and your husband?
Us. Not working and having 10 children is not enough to have help at home. But between all of us we manage, above all, because the bar is lowered. The house is not very tidy and maybe the food is not super natural and wonderful and great every day, but you get what you can.
How does one cope with "lowering the bar"? We have all been brought up to reach the top and limit oneself, how does one deal with it?
When you want something, when you have 10 children, when you have a house, a husband, when you have 12 of us eating at home every day? When you have all that and you see that you don't make it; you want to make it and you can't, it's like inner frustrationIt puts you in a bad mood, you end up seeing that others pay for it. Because you want everything to be tidy, everything perfect and someone suddenly leaves their backpack on the floor and that means you have to shout at the wrong time, you don't have time to be with them when the little ones arrive or you don't go on a weekend trip because you have to tidy up or you have to clean up, that's when you say: ?the best thing I aspire to is the happiness of my children and my family.?. And to achieve that I put my children first. The rest is completely secondary.
Do you and your husband have time for a couple's life?
One thing I always say, and I think it is fundamental, is that every day, when the children go to bed, at 10:00 a.m., when the children go to bed, at 10:00 a.m., they go to sleep. we prepare a special dinner. I start to prepare a special dinner, not the same as the children's, whatever it is while Paco (her husband) sets the table, lights the candles, plays the music, lights the fireplace and we both have dinner with our glass of wine. Every night the two of us have dinner alone and spend the whole time there.
What do you think of the 8M strike?
I feel sorry for them. Above all, I feel sorry for the fact that the confrontation between men and women is still in force. it seems that we are enemies. As if we had to be fighting. This is what is transmitted and what is most seen, because people assimilate it without realizing it, and in the end they are fighting, the husband and the wife, to see who does what, who doesn't do what, and it transmits an image of sadness. It is confrontation, it is frustration. I don't think that transmits a happy idea, that can lead you to be happy, to step on anyone in order to go up, which in the end is a bit what is transmitted with these things. This radical feminism gives an idea of a woman who doesn't need anyone, and no one needs her.And does that bring happiness? Happiness is in giving yourself to others, giving yourself, loving and being loved.
One of the proposals is that the woman, on that day, would stop taking care of the people in her care?
Now I get angry and I don't breathe. It doesn't make sense. I want to do it, I like to do it, they love me, they need me, I love them and I need them. And of course I take care of them and they take care of me. Let's see if it's not taking care of me that they suddenly throw themselves in my arms and say I love you and give me kisses. Just like that. Let's see if I'm going to go on strike.
Do you share any of what they advocate: non-discrimination in the workplace, the pay gap?
Had I always wanted to have such a large family?
No. I never thought about it, at any time. I liked it. We were four sisters and I would have always liked to have more siblings. I never thought about it. When the fourth was born, I always had the feeling that she was the last one to be born.. It seemed reasonable to me: two girls, two boys. That was great. Everything very good, everything very organized. And I lived it as if it were the last one. Then Isabel was born and suddenly we realised that we were privileged.
What would you think if one of your daughters decided to devote herself to work and put motherhood aside?
What I would say to him is: ?Decide, but let it be in full freedomnot forced by models that come from outside. Nor forced by the model you see at home, but in freedom. That you really see that this is what you want to do because this is what makes you happy.because that's what you think will really make you happy?
If you were to start over from scratch? would you repeat your life story?
Of course. I am absolutely happy and if I could have had more children I would have them with pleasure.. I have no doubts and I am absolutely satisfied. I stopped working because of a very tense work situation in which I finally said "I can't take it anymore", and I stopped working. And then I was grateful for it. And I said "I'm really doing what I really wanted to do". Which was to stay at home. It's what I wanted to do but maybe I didn't dare, we thought that with only one salary we wouldn't be able to live and then you see that we can. And besides, I think that giving up work is what has allowed me to have so many children. If not, I would not have been able to face the fact that I was pregnant again, that if I had to take a leave of absence, that if I had to take a reduction. I don't think I would have been able to and I would have had less if I didn't want to go through that again.
Published by Juan María Piñero
Link to the original interview: https://www.actuall.com/entrevista/familia/leonor-tamayo-el-feminismo-radical-da-una-idea-de-la-mujer-que-no-necesita-a-nadie/